sarriane:

1-800-lonely-boy:

you are my peach, you are my plum

youre angle or youre devil

zanimez:

please watch jenna marbles fuck around with a green screen im literally pissing myself

eightiesbucky:

okay listen up people

TYPHOON MANGKHUT HAS THE EQUIVALENT STRENGTH OF A CATEGORY 5 HURRICANE

It’s TWICE the size of Florence, is the strongest ever recorded in the area and is about to hit the Philippines

Please, if you live in south east Asia, particularly the Philippines STAY SAFE, evacuate if you need to and if not listen to all safety precautions

aceofsquiddles:

life-of-eris:

If you had five billion you could hop from job to job, calling entitled customers idiots all across your city, putting the fear of You into every shithead in town until people become afraid to be rude to servers and cashiers, lest you emerge from the back room like some kind of manners-enforcing specter

falloutwv:

falloutwv:

please may i have some coochie

hussainthemvp:

rocketmermaid:

Giant isopods are so cool but what’s with the sexy funk music

most sexual motherfucker in the ocean. 

pervocracy:

- People who exercise a lot get knee injuries from overdoing it

- People who only exercise occasionally get knee injuries from being unprepared for the exertion

- People who don’t exercise get knee injuries from being out of shape

- Maybe knees just suck

mechalesbian:

booty shorts that say “god won’t let me die” on the ass